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The Bad Tips File
 
Surfing the Internet counts as
time spent writing.

Make your motto: It's research.
•
Don't waste time making
an outline. Just write!

Make your motto: I want to be
a writer, not an outliner.
•
You don't have to work
at being a good writer
if you're really gifted.
Make your motto:
I'm really gifted.
•
You'll be the best writer ever
if you just get the right software.

Make your motto: First, a trip
to the electronics store!
•
Take all criticism personally.
Make your motto: Drop dead!
•
It doesn't matter if your readers
fail to understand what you're saying.
That simply proves they aren't as smart
as you are.
Make your motto: I'm bright; I'm right.
 •
There are no rules these days
when it comes to punctuation!!
Make your motto: What's your problem?!
•
Write really long sentences to show
you're really smart.
Make your motto: No free rides! I want
readers to work at understanding
the point I'm trying to make.
•
It's OK to write in front of the television. You can
get a lot done during commercials. (After all, it's
not as if you're doing homework.)
Make your motto: My mind is so complex it constantly
needs multiple stimulation to be truly creative. (That's
your story so stick to it!)
•
Send your poems to a publication
even if it doesn't publish poetry. It will
after the editors see yours.
Make your motto: I know everyone will
love my poems because they come from the heart.
•
Never start a writing project unless
you have a lot of free time.
Make your motto: When I retire.
•
The only way to become a true writer
is to have many traumatic experiences,
even if that means putting yourself at risk.
Make your motto: I write, therefore I live
on the edge.
•
Keeping to a daily schedule is much too rigid
an approach for a real writer.
Make your motto: My creative spirit can't
be fettered by the clock. (Use this motto
even if you have no idea what "fettered" means.)
•
If you feel "inspired" to write an article
or story then that piece will be very good.
Always.
Make your motto: This is art. Back off!
•
Make sure your first sentence is
absolutely perfect before attempting
to write your second. Even if it takes years.
Make your motto: Perfectionism isn't
overrated. It's a must.
•
Writing is always very exciting and glamorous.
If that's not true for you, you're not
a true writer.
Make your motto: I am this close to being
a celebrity and that's what it's all about.
•
Start as many writing projects as possible
but don't worry about finishing any of them.
Make your motto: I'm an idea person.
 •
Remember you don't have to see a publication
before submitting an article to it. Often, just
knowing its name is enough.
Make your motto: If they don't use this kind of article,
they should.
•
If you hit a rough patch immediately
start a new writing project.
Make your motto: Writing is always fun!
•
If you get more than two or three
rejection slips, quit writing.
Make your motto: They don't want me?
I don't want them!
•
SASE is always optional. (Don't know
what SASE means? No problem!)
Make your motto: Publishing houses
can afford envelopes and stamps!
•
Remember creative writers
don't have to worry about getting
any facts right.
Make your motto: I'm not a reporter.
I'm a writer.
•
There's no bad excuse for skipping
a day's writing.
Make your motto: Tomorrow. Seriously.
•
Have a question about a publication? Give
the editor a call!
Make your motto: He -- or she-- will want
to hear my idea!
•
If your family and friends say
something you wrote is very good
then you can be sure it is very good
and should be published immediately.

Make your motto: Pointing out to the editor
"my family and friends say this is very good"
will seal the deal!
•
 A publication's writers' guidelines are meant
for average writers. Ignore them. You're exceptional.
Make your motto: I don't need to actually see
a publication to know exactly what it needs.
 
•
The best way to become a better writer is to sit
around talking to other people who want to become
better writers.
Make your motto: I'll get to the actual writing later.
•
Take breaks often. Unless the words are just pouring
out and they're pure gold, stop for a few games
of computer solitaire or a little Web surfing.

Make your motto: I'll get back to my writing as soon as I...
•
Like a diamond, the best writing is created
under pressure. Never start a project too early.

Make your motto: It's all in my head. I just have
to write it down.
•
Self-editing is a waste of time. You're a writer
not an editor.

Make your motto: Second drafts are for losers.

•

Don't waste your time reading! Just write. You already
know how to read.

Make your motto: Shakespeare is dead. Get over it.

•
Don't waste your time trying to write
anything -- including a particular assignment --
until inspiration strikes, instantly filling you
with insights and emotions.

Make your motto: "I'm waiting for the Muses."

•
It's silly to be concerned about spelling errors
if your computer has a spell-check program.
Unless your software says a word is misspelled,
feel free to assume there's no problem.

Make your motto: "Spell check means
I never make miss steaks."
•
Never hesitate to use a really big or obscure word,
even if you aren't sure what it means. Really big
and obscure words tell the reader,
"Hey, I'm smarter than you are!"

Make your motto: "Shun those who eschew
obfuscation!"